http://www.jamesfuqua.com/lawyers/jokes/qa.shtml

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

A: His lips are moving.

Q: You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?

A: Shoot the lawyer. Twice.

Q. What do you call 1,000 lawyers, chained together at the bottom of the ocean?

A. A good start.